This year has been such a roller coaster for me. One day I feel like I've triumphed my failures and mistakes, and I get hit again with another disaster. Yesterday, I decided, what the hell? Start painting again. It doesn't mean I need to go back to painting grandiose, large oil paintings. My relief from all my stress living in the South Bay was creating my food paintings. I started it as a small project to remember all the various sushi rolls while working at Zakuro.
After I got on a roll with creating a set up for myself in my room, I would venture to the farmers market across the street down Irvington Street in Fremont. Starting off with the most exotic herbs and vegetables I could find, I propped up still life settings for all my delightful finds. It was my first time really using gouache as a medium but it suited my food art style. Theres a simplicity to the medium, its obscure and matte, theres no shine or gloss to its end. I never considered my art very outstanding or yearning for too much attention. It just is what it is. Food Art. Its my art that I enjoy making.
Out of this years frustration, I finally gave in and pulled out all my tools and paints and just let my hands and eyes do all the work. Its funny how much I criticize myself on unrealistic my still life paintings are. Its been instilled in me to recreate things in a photorealistic manner, to achieve the perfect painting. Painting my little macaroon reminded me to just challenge the rules of how to use gouache and utilize my own experience and knowledge to create the image I wanted.
For now, I think Ill be sure to be less critical of myself and more encouraging in allowing myself to be the creative that I want to be.